Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "As the world falls down" journal:
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I think I need a better diary that I can just fill out on the go as I've not updated this is months and in the last 6 months I've had -
1. Man I was attracted to, liked man, man liked me but man was seing a heshe as well and decided he didn't want a gf but then two months later decided he did but decided the heshe was the right one for him.
2. Changed jobs, now working at Madame Tusssauds until the end of April but I will have to go back to a job I'd rather not because of a bulling bitch who tried to get me fired.
3. Birthday celebrations, incredibly messy but great fun.
4. Girls weekend in Birmingham that involved lots and lots of chocolate.
5. Move to Camden for 6 weeks, to get a bit of space from home and independace, as it's something I've been meaning to do for a long time.
6. Now after all this fun exciting stuff completely broke until next pay day woop.
I do want to go into more details with the last few current events but right now I just don't have time and I just wanted to document what's been going on so in a few years time I can look back at laugh at all this rubish and go what the hell was I thinking.
Current Location: Camden
Current Mood: numb
Right I'm thinking of having a bbq on the 19th, who would be interested in coming? Please bare in mind I live in Mill Hill East not hard to get to just very north London. It would probably start around 4/5 and I have doggies :D Let me know if you'd be interested.
Current Mood: Cheese
Back from Germany once again, only stayed a week this time it went to quick. I'm already missing my Friends out there especially Rob the guy I was staying with. I know there won't be a future for us because I he doesn't want anything serious and to be honest I don't think we would ever have that click no matter how much I might want it to be there. I can't help feeling sad though, I miss him like crazy it feels so weird being appart again. Last time I wasn't to bad, I even spent a long period of time convincing myself I don't like him then I saw him at the airport and it all changed. I really need to get out there and find someone who will give me what I want, not sure how easy that will be.
I had a great time though, went bike ridding went into Hamburg for the day with the American exchance students which was fun. I went to Heide Park on my last day there and got convinced to go on the steapest rollacoster in the world which I will never do again. We went to ice cream cafe's everyday which is the best invention ever, my teeth have never felt so sore I think its time I visit the Dentist. It was just really good. I almost didn't come home but my return flight was just too expensive to come back 2days later. I will have to go live out there at some point.
Current Mood: sad
"Fortune Tellers! Fire Acts! Candy girls! Magicians! Put your gladrags on and come drink and be merry at our fundraiser carnival-esque party. Make sure you don’t miss the party of the year! "
Today opens at 6.30pm
(Really close to Kings Cross, google the address)
12-13 New Wharf Rd
London, N1 9RT
£7/ £5 guestlist
Go hear to the offical website for more information. http://www.practicumtheatre.com/ Me and Tara will be going we're on the guestlist. I would have put out information earier but I only found out about it today. This looks like really good fun for £7 for all of that you can't complain. Please feel free to past this around I think its going to be a really good evening out. I'm not sure what the money raised is going to but I'm sure its for a worthy cause.
Current Mood: excited
Last day in Germany.|
I am very sad to be leaving and more so because over the last two weeks because the person I have been staying with has sorta become my boyfriend but now I´m sad that I have to go and he is gone back to Bremen\Oldenburg. I will see him again once his exchange is up but I can´t help but being very very upset. I´m not sure if it will work when he gets back, I have a feeling it won´t. I think he´s just too close to his ex and I think he will probably end up back with her in a couple years time after her foriegn exchange. It does really hurt knowing I don´t think I could ever get that close to someone, it´s not out of choice but experience I think after someone has been with someone for a fairly long period of time and gotten so close to them they never really can with anyone else. Anyways I am hugely Jealous that he´ll be back in berlin in about two weeks time with his ex.
On a brighter note, I have had a great time. Went to see a show called Flic Flack so if anyone is in Germany while its on its deffently worth going to. Spent a lot of time bike riding round Oldenburg with Rob, a few trips into Bremen, met some cool people in Rob´s halls. Did actually manage to see some slights in Berlin this time round and went on the Berlin Tour, though we did end up missing the end half because we loose the group after the break. Just going to have to come back another day and do it properly. I did find myself looking after rob for part of my stay as he got attacted by cold sores and some sort of fever, so didn´t really enjoy the night life as much as I could have. The view from the Reighstag (excuse my spelling) is breath taking, we went up there last night, even thought it wasn´t the clearest of nights it was still really nice to see the whole of berlin from an aireal view. Did end up walking threw the Holliacaust memorial last night, its quite frighting but very peacefull you don´t want to be walking threw it alone at night.
Maybe if I get a chance to come over again while Rob is still hear I can see a bit more. If not I´ll just have to drag someone else with me and learn some more German I still haven´t managed to learn much. lol. I´m quite hungry now but I feel a bit rude trying to order something in English, I spose having Rob around who is almost fluent in German is quite handy. He left about 9 this morning cos he wanted to go to his lecture this afternoon, which is fair enough.
I am feeling a little home sick probably cos I have been pretty much up and down since I´ve been hear. I have so much to do when I get back and get this gig sorted, I really need a good headling punk act but I don´t know who to get I´m worried this gig is going to go down the drain and I´ll end up being silly amount out of pocket. I guess thats the risk I havet to take.
So as I sit hear in a net cafe killing time till my flight leaves, I have to say goodbye Germany and I will see you again soon.
Current Mood: sad
Happy Birthday Kelly, I hope you have a wonderfull and sexy day :D
I have something to tell you...|
I have a job woo, working for a car insurance promotions company :D well chuffed about that. £8ph score and I don't have to work weekends yes.
Oi you lot who wants to be on my pie team. I need a team of four its holding place in madienstone so I can drive up with my little brum brum if its behaving, lol. Its £10 each for registration which i think its fair and we can also fundraise for a charity, its a good way to get money for charity cos i'm sure we all have plenty of friends that want to see you getting a pie thrown at your face, lol. So.... BRING ON THE PIES click me :D
Current Location: PIE LAND
Current Mood: PIE TASTIC
Current Music: I SHOT THE PIE
A Big Happy Birthday topainted_bird and sileni
I hope your day is filled with joy and loads of pressents :D
The universe is against me...|
Well i'm bored and feeling quite low. Yet another family member has passed on that's 3 within a month. I'm quite hurt especially two I was somewhat close to and they have been part of my life since the day I was born. I guess I'm in a state of shock as I'm finding it hard to eat and hard to leave the house. I have been unable to let out my grievance with out being almost paralyzed from a stupid amount of vodka or maybe get slightly watery eyes watching a disney/sad film. I can't shake the emptiness inside and feel my self growing distant from the outside world,
Its just a bad time of year for me, I don't enjoy either christmas or new years seeing as my family spend most of the day in silence apart from the nose of the tv and me getting shouted at help with the christmas dinner, which is pretty much the same as any other sunday roast, apart from the need to have Turkey instead of just plain and simple chicken.
I just need closure but unable to find it, I probably should get out more, go for a walk clear my mind etc. I just want to be free of all my burdens and pain, just to enjoy the simple pleasures of life with out all the complications of emotions. Argh I sound so fucking goth/emo/depressive err what ever you call it, just silly. I'll get out of my slump, just waiting for something good to happen and I'll be right as rain :D Well hears hoping.
On a brighter note, I have a band forming which I will be singing for and hopefully gigging in the near future, so watch this space.
Current Mood: indescribable
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